Journal of a Lower-Division Grader: Introduction (and if you warned me,...)

"I despise your despising," spoke Zarathustra. "And if you warned me, why did you not warn yourself?""

There's something very dubious about work-related blogging. It seems to get people into trouble (cf. brief remarks here under "the end of credibility," or elsewhere at more length and erudition), for one thing. But more than that, and in its pervasity worse still, it seems all-too-often both unprofessional and morosely self-indulgent. How often do we read only glib snark cooked up from the catalogue of the daily travail? Endow it with vices and malfeasance beyond its station, and speak of it with the dryly clownish condescension of sufferance yielding to exasperation! But sad occasions are only sadder still when they command the service of powerful prose.

How often have I jotted notes on nothing-in-particular only later, a day, two days later, to find that I no longer had any interest in the subject? It is not that I am fickle or capricious, though perhaps I am. It's that the fundamental cost of all art, all media is viewer attention. The literature of forgettable pettiness only worths its price when it seasons itself with bile and hyperbole. It's the thing-of-the-moment that mistakenly universalises itself in a search for absent significance when it in truth has no such power. It's Guildenstern stabbing the Player King.

And it's really bad writing. Maybe not bad prose, maybe often not, but badly misspent. I think we ought to command better from ourselves. Call that a re-statement of our mission at Sun-Drunken.

If you remember the last time, or the time before that, or --, that I went on a tear immediately prior to doing, or while doing, exactly what I'd just railed against, I'm sure you know what comes next. It's not just self-conscious irony, the plainest special pleading, a seeking to convince the reader that really nothing wicked passes here by sending him through loops and whirls until he's too dizzy to figure out whether it's satirical or just crass. It was never the despising that was at fault. Returns are still being earned when Guildenstern furnishes his "art to creating suspense" with a "law of diminishing returns."

Here, however, Zarathustra interrupted the foaming fool and put his hand over the fool's mouth. "Stop at last!" cried Zarathustra; "your speech and your manner have long nauseated me. Why did you live near the swamps so long, until you yourself have become a frog and a toad?... Why have you not gone into the woods? Or to plow the soil? I despise your despising; and if you warned me, why did you not warn yourself?

"Out of love alone shall my despising and my warning bird fly up, not out of the swamp.

"... What was it that first made you grunt? That nobody flattered you sufficiently; you sat down to this filth so as to have reason to grunt much -- to have reason for much revenge....

"But your fool's words injure me, even where you are right. And even if Zarathustra's words were a thousand times right, still you would always do wrong with my words."

Anyway, when the preface puts the body of text into the smallest corner of its shadow -- it could be bad writing, or it could be the preface was the point.

* * * * *

Way-back-when at UBC I took a class in Euclidean geometry. After the midterm a friend told me a sad story about the grading of one of the problems. It had asked for a statement of some theorem or definition or thing like this. As always in Euclidean geometry a good diagram was central to the issue, and she had included a helpful exegetical diagram. Alas, the instructor had not found it so helpful.

"I didn't label it a circle," she explained to me at some length. "That's why he took points off. You tell me, what else could it be?"

Obviously I couldn't say. I'd labelled mine.

"He said, 'Maybe you thought it was an ellipse'! What? What?! When in this class have we talked about ellipses?"

Well, it wasn't the most circle-like circle. They're not the easiest thing to draw.

"When has Instructor-Man even mentioned the word 'ellipse'?!"

Never, of course; if you have neither co-ordinate geometry nor solid Euclidean geometry at your disposal, and this was a strictly plane-geometric class, it's a bother even to say what an ellipse is.

So she went to work on him again, but it didn't help. He was the kind of person who helps earn a reputation for eccentricity for mathematicians. (It's a math pun; click the link to convince yourself it might possibly be funny.)

In truth, although I wished I could back up the professor's take, I really couldn't figure it out. I dislike unlabelled diagrams as much as the next guy, but this ellipse business couldn't be a serious criticism.

I have since recanted my naivete. A term or two grading papers has given me a somewhat more storied perspective. My understandings about what other people might mean when they speak what they say or write what they scribble are no longer Earthbound -- heavy, constrained by the gravity of consequence. Rather they roam between the sky and the space which is beyond, fantastic, undreambound. It's the fog of the Nothing, of the confusion-of-being, of the not-understanding and the not-communicating. It's sadness on a page.

And that's why I couldn't give examples. It would take a callous knowledge-worker not to empathise. Or at least it would if the clever critters didn't try their damn'dest to dress it up. And yet, heavens guard us, maybe now and then I've only rouged it -- I am on a deadline.