Inaugural Lord Kelvin Useless Creation Award

We should be able to do sums, Donald Knuth writes in his parvum opus Concrete Mathematics, even on our less creative days. (That book has two co-authors, too, Graham and Patashnik. Somehow I keep calling it Knuth's book.) What he's extolling his students to is a level of technique that obviates the need for divination in finding a path to the problem's solution. This is a fundamental step to mastering anything, because creative expression always hinges on an excellent grasp of the technique of the medium.

To this end, I shall indulge in a Regular Feature, Sun-Drunken's first, (although I threatened one earlier, if you're keeping score, which I've not yet had occasion to revisit). Shame, by the way, to you if you thought I was going to say I was going to learn how to write properly. The famous physicist Lord Kelvin (yes, that Kelvin) wrote:

Quaternions came from Hamilton... and have been an unmixed evil to those who have touched them in any way. Vector is a useless survival... and has never been of the slightest use to any creature.

In honour of his getting one out of two, and being hilariously mistaken on count of the one he missed, I'd like to establish the Lord Kelvin Useless Creation Award, given to "those entities that in the estimation of the award committee have never been of the slightest use to any creature."

Today's recipient gets my mountain goat, and they'd take my other goats, too, if they knew how. No doubt this problem will continue to hold their attention for years yet to come. But don't think they're getting this prestigious inaugural award just for future anxiety, they've already caused much. In recognition of their undying capacity to create labyrinthine obfuscation, I'd like to award the first KUCA to the united bureaucrats of New Jersey. The award citation makes note of, inter alia, their request that international students fill out tax documents with deadlines set before said students can acquire an ITIN (Individual Taxpayer Identification Number), their refusal to acknowledge the utility of MMR immunization that occurs before the age of one year (contrary to, for example, medical practice in British Columbia), and their inability to promptly send letters threatening fines and other action against people who fail to comply with their artificial deadlines. That, of course, is just the stuff that happened today.

Congratulations, guys.

On a lighter, fluffier, even, note, I note that no one's even noted the fluffiness of the light atop the page. (Before you ask, I'm not eligible for a KUCA.) The background is from the galleries of the Cloud Appreciation Society, the existence of which I think you'll agree is just reasonable enough that I don't have to remind you that I'm not making this stuff up. It's a striking shot of the rooftops of the world. Their manifesto, (nevermind the cloud-inspired poetry), is even more striking.